So it’s been finally a week since I got the great news and I am scared all the time of losing my source of joy. But praying helps. My newly wed sis in law and her husband came to visit us at Holi and so that week we didn’t go to the doctor. I was already having folic acid since past 2 months. We went to the doctor this week and she gave some pregnancy supporting hormonal tablets due to my miscarriage last year. I am just feeling really tired all the time. I called my manager and informed of the news as I have been advised to avoid exertion and take it slow. I was denied work from home which I requested and have been advised to go on loss of pay for the next two months or until I can rejoin office. Also my manager advised me as a friend that I should consider quitting my job and I was like Whhhhat??? She didn’t even consult the HR for providing me work from home but I am feeling really exhausted and want to avoid any kind of strain so will be at home for next 2 months and then take it up further.
Well yes I am pregnant. And I was delighted when I got to know the news on the day of Holi this year. I lost a baby last year and one an year before that(which was the biggest mistake of my life). I have never been happy ever since I deprived myself of the gift of motherhood from GOD. And yes I believe I deserved all the misery I went through after that, I have earned it through my horrendous action.
But now I want to experience motherhood and to be forgiven.I want to be completed as a woman. Just keeping my fingers crossed and praying!