She was gazing through the window and looking at the hustle and bustle of the city. It was a busy city, everyone always occupied with problems of their own, trying hard to get a grasp over their lives. She had now become accustomed to the constant honking and shouting of the crowd on the busy road outside. It’s been 5 years since she moved here, with her husband Akaash. There’s been an arranged marriage. They had been a happy couple until…

Just a year after their marriage she got the most wonderful news; she was going to be a mom. She was on cloud nine. She started thinking of the day when she will start a new chapter of her life. She started weaving dreams of a new life with the child yet to come ,for he was the fruit of her love, pain and patience. She has waited for it for long and now experiencing the same was like living a dream. Akaash was also excited and happy and started preparing for the new member to come,they  baby proofed the house, brought necessary stuffs and were just waiting eagerly for the day to come,which was in just a week.

And that day came too,Kaaya was screaming in pain but she was elated inside, content,for this pain bore a fruitful reward. She gave birth to a boy but as soon as her dreams realized they were crushed too. The baby was born dead. Kaaya was utterly devastated. She transformed after it, she wouldn’t speak much,she would never laugh,she stopped going out at all.Her world had come to a standstill and life seem to come at halt for her.

But it wasn’t for long when again she was blessed with good news,she was happy but it didn’t overcome the loss of life she nurtured for 9 months and which wasn’t meant to be. They were overcautious this time but again within 4 months she lost the loved one,and then this happened again for 2 more times. Kaaya now became a lump of bones and flesh moving around. She was angry with the world,with GOD, with destiny. She slowly and steadily became someone else.Doctor visits and medicine became a regular routine but nothing changed and it so went on until few years uptil now…

 Uptil she met Sheena.She was her new neighbor.She assured Kaaya that there’s a way out of this misery.Kaaya was willing to do anything or try anything to have a baby.And when Sheena told her it’s possible she got a new strength and a new hope. They visited ‘Baba Golmaal’ the next day and told about her problem.What the baba advised them next was astounding and shocking but Kaaya was so driven by the instinct and pain of being a mother she convinced herself to try this last resort.

The next day she went to the nearby park. Many children were playing there,she used to go there too often and watch them play. Listen to them laughing and running around.It brought some peace to her maternal instincts which got satiated with the glimpse of these children. But it worked the other way too,it made her crave more for experiencing the amazing feeling of being a mother.Akaash suggested many times to adopt a child but she refused each time,she was stubborn to have a baby of her own and kept pushing him for realizing her desire.

The children were as usual screaming,running around and playing.One small child was sitting in one corner and watching everyone playing. He was really cute and must be just 4 years of age.Kaaya looked around and couldn’t find his mother or father anywhere near. Then the baba’s words echoed in her ears and she got up and went to that child.

She asked the child,what’s your name dear?

Kid: Ayaan

Kaaya looked around,no one was paying attention to her and the child,she picked him up and started walking.The kid didn’t oppose or cried,she started pacing even more briskly.No one stopped her and soon she crossed the red light and mingled in the crowd there.The child was enjoying being carried around and roaming, he didn’t cry at all.

She reached her apartment and closed the doors tightly and put all the curtains.She placed the kid on the sofa, and that’s when he started crying and asking for his mother. She went to him and talked sweetly to him,dear your mother is coming,till then have biscuits and went in kitchen.Soon she came with lots of biscuits and sweets filled in a big plate.But something else was also shining in that plate,the butcher’s knife and Kaayas eyes were glistening like a predator when he is about to catch his prey.

Baba’s words were echoing in her head and she couldn’t think beyond it,’Sacrifice!,sacrifice will get you what you want’.

There are thousands of people in our country who keeping their common sense at bay take the wrong path of supersitition.Do you really believe that some baba can solve your day to day or the biggest problems of your life for the matter? Life is full of struggles and everything can’t be hunky dory always.You will have to go through tribulations because that’s how life is.The fact is how you deal with what life throws at you.

It’s only when we stop believing in ourselves we put our faith in something/someone else than ourself,to something outside us.